Survey

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Rachel
Birthday:	12/2/88
Birthplace:	Dayton Ohio
Current Location:	Too bad to say
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Naturally light brown, currently black but I'm letting it come back to natural.
Height:	No clue
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right handed
Your Heritage:	Armenian, German, and Indian
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Converse
Your Weakness:	Love, my nephews, "doing the right thing" lol
Your Fears:	People I love dying
Your Perfect Pizza:	The works from Donatos (sp)
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	To become ready for college in a year
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	Lol, and yeah
Thoughts First Waking Up:	First I think someone is laying next to me, then I get sad because I realize no one is, then I think "so tired, but... must... check... away message"
Your Best Physical Feature:	Some people say they like my eyes, I like my hair ok
Your Bedtime:	Um I have a sleeping disorder
Your Most Missed Memory:	*Sigh* having someone
Pepsi or Coke:	Wow this is such a big question, mostly coke but cherry pepsi is my favorite drink ever so I dont know
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burger king
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Uh no?
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	Yes, way too much
Do you Swear:	Yes, again way too much
Do you Sing:	Uhhh not professionally?
Do you Shower Daily:	Hahaha yes
Have you Been in Love:	Yes
Do you want to go to College:	I am going to college next year
Do you want to get Married:	No, never
Do you belive in yourself:	Mmm not really no
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Yes but it takes a lot, usually if we're going up to Ohio by the end of the nine hours I get quesy
Do you think you are Attractive:	Fuck no
Are you a Health Freak:	Fuck no
Do you get along with your Parents:	One of them, being my mom
Do you like Thunderstorms:	If it cant hurt me yes
Do you play an Instrument:	I'm learning guitar and I can play flute, haha I was in band a long time ago
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Nope
In the past month have you Smoked:	I smoke about a pack a day
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	I detest drugs
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	I don't think I've ever been on a "date"
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	shit now that you mention it no, don't like that place
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No but damn no you got me wanting pizza and oreos, I haven't eaten today
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Never eaten sushi
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Nooo
In the past month have you been Dumped:	In a matter of speaking maybe
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	I wish
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Not that I recall
Ever been Drunk:	Yes
Ever been called a Tease:	Yes
Ever been Beaten up:	No, worst I ever got was a bloody lip from my sister ha
Ever Shoplifted:	Yes, I went to a class for it to, they gave us lifesavers, true story, no lie.
How do you want to Die:	Round about 70, happy and asleep so I dont face it awake.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	An artist
What country would you most like to Visit:	Egypt or France
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Gray
Favourite Hair Color:	Black or whitish blonde
Short or Long Hair:	shit either can be good
Height:	uhm taller than me?
Weight:	shit I dont care
Best Clothing Style:	Vintage
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Uhm 3 or 4 dunno
Number of CDs I own:	how the hell do I know?
Number of Piercings:	One, my nose, the ones in my ears dont count
Number of Tattoos:	Not old enough yet :( all the ones I did got fucked up
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	too many to count, too many to count.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

"I'm the mailman's son"

Haha I accidently said that and it was funny. I meant to say the mailman's kid, because I look nothing like my sisters, lol but I'm an idiot so... I might be working at McDonalds *sarcastic woohoo* ugh life sucks, Erin was supposed to come over last night, I don't know why she didn't or what happened with that. :( *sigh* I hope she gets online soon or something because I can't call her until nine. DAMMIT ERIN GET ONLINE OR SOMETHING. Lol which if she checks my blog she'll be online so uh... shut up self. Anyways Joyce and William back together *spins around one of those little party makers while wearing party hat and blowing noise maker* so yeah all I have to say on the matter is if she's happy I'm happy for her. But well other than that happiness directed at Joyce, I'm not happy at all. Lol. Eh lifes a bitch, I'm its pimp, and lately it just isn't getting laid. *sigh again* I'm lonely, and everyone I've said that too has started fucking singing that rap song "lonely, I'm so lonely" which is pretty annoying. Fuck I'm hungry. Comment. Outie.


*current song* Linkin Park- Forgotten

"I would have never thought the prospect of NOT working at Big Lots would make me sad"

So bored... ugh I'm so bored, I'm downloading fonts. Haha omg I'm lame, but they're awesome fonts *leans in and whispers* they're Harry Potter fonts. Harry Potter owns my soul I swear. I just downloaded three fonts, one that looks just like the way "Harry Potter" is written on the book, one called parseltounge (snake language for the Harry Potter challenged) and one called Magik which was a bit dissapointing.Oh shit it's 7am danggg I forgot it's fucking easter dude. Well uh Happy Fucking Easter? *Waits for crazy bunny to pelt eggs at me* Man dude I don't even care that it's easter, *sigh* I should probably wash clothes and crap to wear today.. get dressed and shit. Haha I just downloaded more fonts, a linkin park font, and a walt disney font, I tried to download a eminem font but I cant get it to work. I'm looking up more, I have such a lame/retarded life. Well I really don't have much to report, we might still be going to France but all that is up in the air... LEAVE COMMENTS WHORES.


*current song* Staind- It's Been a While

"le rock, le person, le run"

Ha I'm a big idiot, I might go to France (hence the blog post, me and Joyce have odd conversations) I didnt even want to go at first and I think I'll be really upset now if I don't. I just can't picture being gone for two months guys I'd go insane. I'll like get back and everyone'll be all "who the hell are you?" That would suck. But would probably happen I'd like walk in and be like "I'm BACK GUYS!" and then like a tumbleweed would blow by... cricket chirp. Ahhhh how could you guys do this! Erm yeah sorry hasn't happened yet.but it will. So I just dont know what to do people. Oh oh go here it works so well its creepy: http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1111722493jsy do it!!!!!


*current song* Smile empty soul- Therapy

A Poem, or maybe two

Prison chamber
Darkened room
Outside my head
The wenches loom
Things of which
I need to survive
But nothing of which
My scared soul strives
Food for life but
Not for thought
Pills for sickness
Not for being
Distraught
A cure for a second
No cure for grief
Drop away
Into restless sleep
Swim through visions
Not even comatose can escape
Hit your head
On a hatred snake
Be devoured by the bear of
Old friends
Even in your own world
The old one never ends
Awoken at once
by a stone tear
Look around
Realize that no one’s here
Thoughts again
That never stop
Ruined mind
And body clock- Me

This one's kind of old but I thought I'd post it to see what you people think...

If only you knew of the secret world inside my head
You’d beg to let you come inside instead
My false fortress of beauty and my rainbows of lost imagination
My sky of blazing orange love free of your worldly complication
The place I turn my gaze when I tire of our un-united nation
A place where there is no president who fires his death destruction out of frustration
This place lacks that ammunition
To be in that position
If only you used your hope to accomplish what I know you can
Over come the angry man
To not “know where you stand”

The place inside my head is not impossible to build
The place of light and glory where no one has been killed
If it is a disease to know how to escape then wrap me in your sickness
I will drown in my happiness with a quickness
If clothes are a reflection of emotion
Then the blackness should give you a notion
Of my feelings of this place
If not then I can tell you to your face
Of the endless disappointment I have invested in this earth
The tear that falls when I see the children who have lost their mirth
The country with the false leadership who has done nothing but take my heart
Pull it out inject insult and fear before they slowly take it apart

They suck... yes but still please tell me what you think on this post comments will make me oh so happy on this post people, I dont have a lot to report other wise, Erin didn't come over tonight because her dad got mad at her, I started crying while I was talking to Joyce and made myself look like the biggest ass ever in life... lol but that's besides the point, please tell me what you think of my poems, thanks bye bye now

*current song* Rayzing Sons- Deal wit it

Bacon from Sav-a-Lot

My title is code for random because that is what this post will be, I don't really have anything to post, I'm bored as shit. I have no one to love :( nooo looovveee it sucks. So Erin yes I still love you darling, I'm just sad that I won't get to see you all that much now. Ahhhh I hate relationships, I'm going to be gay, anyone wanna be gay with me?? C'mon I may not be much to look at but I'm cuddley, honest. Eh maybe I could never be gay, but I'd like to be, I'm sick of guys, you hear me guys I'm sick of your bullshit! Sick of it sick of it sick of it. Did I mention I'm sick of it? Well I am, and well yeah. I NEED MONEY!!!!!!!!! I NEED A JOB!! Find me a job people. Please? It'd be fun, if you find me a job I'll give you some of my money... not much but I'll get you like a pack of smokes or something c'mon! It'd be a pack more than you have now *nudge nudge* I'll give you head!!!!!! Well if you're super sexy, any old guys out there who will pay me to give them head? This is an odd post so I'm going to go because I really don't have anything to say. Wow I sound psyco in this post, eh it'll be ok, leave it people...


*current song* Linkin Park- Nobody's listening

"You're psychic! How'd you know we'd have sex in Wendy's?"

As my title suggests, Erin and Sean have found another weird place to have sex... the Wendy's bathroom. What's so funny is one of my earlier posts says "You smell of hospital sex and Wendy's" which she hadn't had sex in Wendy's yet so now she thinks I'm psychic. She called me while having sex about an hour ago that was weird, she said she was coming over tonight but I guess she forgot... doesn't really surprise me I didn't expect to see her a lot when she got back with Sean. Jessica is here spending the night for the first time in God knows when. So that's cool, I don't think Brian hates me as much now, me and Joyce are going to make a porn in which I am a school girl and she's the school nurse. Boy this is a random post, bacon from sav-a-lot? Long story. Gonna go


*current song* Linkin Park- Hit the Floor

"I was touched by an angel once, I filed sexual harrassment"

Wow so, pretty much the world hates me which is alright, but at times infuriating, so Brian hates me, ha, I kind of forced him to so that wasn't all that nice I suppose, Joyce is here I'm going to make her type a hi Joyce: "'ello everybody....im talking to brian ;)" I actually made her type that, I'm genuine baby! wow I don't have like anything to say, Erin hasn't called, she might be avoiding me again, that would suck, but it might be happening, she didn't want to tell me her and sean were back together, tonight was bad behind words though, I can't describe it but tomorrow will be better. Because of right now I haven't slept in days, so I can't type properly...


*current song* Crossfade- So Far Away

"Since when is mickey mouse a disney character?"

haha isn't that title so super? My sister actually asked me that it was really funny, something Erin would say haha. So I got photohosting so I could put pictures up but I didnt mean to put that last one up, I dont like it, it was kind of an accident but oh well at least I can put pics up now so thats good, nothing new really, I haven't talked to Joyce in a few days, no one ever comments on this thing grrr. But it's fun anyways. So yeah Erin got caught having sex in the hospital, that was pretty damn hilarious. I laughed for a very long time about it. Now that Erin got a webcam I might be able to get some decent pics up. Not much to say, hey to everyone who doesn't read this, and bye

*current song* What its like- Everlast

Me  

"You smell of hospital sex and wendy's"

I love my funny quotes when they're real, whenever I say something like that I say "wow I have to make that a blog title" I'm in quite a foul mood, I just keep taking shit and taking shit man people feel the need to fuck with me , if you've seen anger management it's like the part where jack nicoleson (sp) says "there are two kinds of angry people, explosive and inplosive, explosive is angry customer you see yelling at the cashier for not taking their cupons (sp) implosive is the cashier who remains silent day after day and eventually shoots everyone in the store" I'm the cashier, I take people's shit waay to much, one day I'll snap, until then whatever it's cool, keep fucking with me people, I dare you. Or it's like the penguin on starterupsteve you poke over and over again. Any of these examples will work. You get it. So yeah my title, Erin had sex in the hospital then walked to my house, you can figure it out. Not that hard. Wow I feel like I only post when I'm angry. But man I just, I really need something.. no someone to hit so make a list of people you'd like me to hit, and I'll be there. I'm sick of shit man. AHHHHH *lets off steam* I'll be ok, I'm just angry about like every aspect of life you can think of.. friends... relationship... family... home... money... school (or lack there of) *cries... litterally* I really just want things to go right, no I just want ONE thing to go right, I don't even have anyone to cry on. This is so lame, I'll post one day when I'm actually happy guys but for now that's pretty impossible. I shall organize a program to put all of the human race under a microscope and analize it. L8er.


*current song* Siouxie and the banshees- spellbound

"URmyTwinkieStar" "too silly, sounds like a five year old"

Feel special Natalie quotes from you and me! Natalie finally got a blog, yayness, and so did Erin and Jessica so my own little blogger community is growing at an alarming rate as before I knew like two people who didn't even like me with blogs so now it's a little better see? Nothing really eventful has happened since I last posted, me and Erin broke into Ogle stadium, that was probably dumb and probably even more dumb to post it online, but we didn't do anything bad to it, honest sir we was just havin' fun. Wow I'm all stupid bounce off the walls like right now. But see I'm still never happy. I feel kind of bad. Freaked on Brian because it made me feel better. Wasn't his fault. Only trying to help. Gonna stop talking like this now. But I do feel kind of bad I lashed out at everyone yesterday and I probably shouldn't have done that but I want to be the typical teenager because that is how I feel, so let me share. No one understands me. I don't know why I'm so misunderstood. There I'm done. AND to top it all off, I DROPPED MY BRAND NEW EYELINER DOWN THE DRAIN!
>:o (angry face) Erin got a webcam yay! so we are gonna take all kinds of stupid pictures and it'll be suuuper fun. This is the most random blog post ever haha. I don't like it so I'm leaving now. COMMENT. COMMENT. Thou shalt not leave without commenting!

*current song* Ozzy- Crazy Train

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

Well I'm posting mainly out of boredom, I might post one of my poems at the end of this because I haven't done that in a while. My blog posts tend to be quite boring, maybe I'm so barricaded by depression that my words wont penetrate properly, they only come out in muffled cries so no one really knows what I want to say. Life is becoming quite a downward spiral, into, what else? Nothingness. The only times I am happy in my life is when I see my friends, I might be a bitch you guys but I really do love you all more than you know, some of you, the others who have abandoned me shall remain nameless, have suffered through my temper, my moods, my silence and whatever else I may have put you through on my journey to self discovery, but you're still there, and no matter what I say I really love you so so much. As Erin said "I love you in a way that a guy never would I'd never leave you!" and that’s so true. You guys have stuck it out with me while my heart was lying beaten and broken on the floor, Joyce you've sat with me for hours while I did nothing but cry over some prick that abandoned me and half killed my soul, you guys help nurse my spirit while everything else in the universe tries to wear it down with dull knives and I love you, I would really die without you. This is quite a queer blog post but hey its my blog right? No one really reads it anyways right? So why the hell not these are my true emotions here. I have no room left to ask my friends for anything, and I know that but I do need you guys to understand that I'm going through one of those times again, I don't know if I want to announce it to everyone but you guys knew who's hurt me, you know my story and I didn't expect to hurt this bad guys, I thought I was stronger than this now, I should of known but I turned around and fucked myself again, this was my mistake I'm sorry for my moodiness I'm being so stupid and I am working to overcome it guys. I'm going to go watch a movie with my sister, I love you all.

*current song* three days grace- drown

"Well I think it's holy water, ya know at the sight of your ass"

Ha I really like that quote, Erin spent the night last night, haha it was quite a funny night, we went to wal-mart after we picked Erin up, is it necessary to say we acted like idiots? Haha we put swim suits on the pooh and tigger dolls and made them do dirty things, hehehe it was funny, then we got toy horses and rode them, then we bought water guns, and then we ran around, haha we're such idiots. Well then we went home and we (what else?) had a water gun fight. In my house at first, but after we got yelled at enough we went outside ... at three am haha in the freezing cold. To have a water gun fight. Then we came back in the house and made some of the BEST prank calls. Ha funny funny. Then at about 6:30 we went in my sun room. And while I played a video game.. Erin mooned little kids, (hence my title when the kid was splashing water on their car) so yeah immature fun. It took my mind off shit but now Im alone and I just cant climb out of this shitty feeling. Lol maybe I am to immature, in all honesty I have shit I should be doing now, I need to grow up.

LEAVE COMMENTS

*current song* Eminem- Spend some time

"See now its sweet, theres girls behind us, show them your inhaler"

Haha quote from the guys in front of us (they were talking about us) when we went to see hitch last night, good movie, it was a sunday it was rainy as shit and it was the latest showing, the theater was like empty except these hilarious guys in front of us, they werent just loud and annoying, but they'd spit out random things like 4 times, after they did it the first time and we laughed really hard they kept doing it and we'd all laugh really loud, it was really fun, I almost made my blog title "Beautiful ballerinas come in all shapes and sizes" because they said that too at one point. Other then that fun time though... my life is THE absolute biggest pile of shit I've ever seen. I lost my sister mostly, I lost two friends, I lost any relationship I could of wanted, I lost school. I lost it all. No one can give me a reason to live, "its selfish" I hear that one a lot. But I must find a reason to live, it's not like anyone even reads or comments on here so I'm kind of just ranting for my own sake, I don't have a lot to say, it's pretty black and white to say at this point, it's just that no one will ever understand the gray. heres a quote to leave you with.

"Let the president answer our high anarchy
Strap him with a AK-47, let him go fight his own war
Let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soil
No more psychological warfare to trick us to thinking that we ain’t loyal
If we don’t serve our own country, we’re patronizing our hero
Look in his eyes, its all lies
The stars and stripes, have been swiped
Washed out and wiped and replaced with his own face
Mosh now or die
If I get sniped tonight, you’ll know why
‘Cuz I told you to fight"

*Current song* Crossfade- Colors