Moving again, great grand wonderful bullshit fuck bitch hell ass

as my title suggests, we're in fact YET AGAIN moving. Do I fucking feel like moving you ask? Re-read the title. I am so sick of moving that I could just shoot myself, I don't even like the house, I like my house much better. :( I really don't want to move. I have so much shit on my walls it'll take a year to put it all back up. I'm in such a bad mood i dont even feel like writing this sorry bye

I decided to give in and do the damn quotes thing too

These are all copy and pasted from my buddy profile, there arent a whole lot but I've been puting them together for a while now, some of them are philosophers, some are just things from our conversations and other things I found amusing.

"To the organized mind death is but the next great adventure"- Dumbledore(harry potter for you dumb people)

"War is the insane death dance of a paranoid society...would you join the dance?"- Wulf Zendik

"everything that decieves also enchants"- Plato

"I do not agree with a single thing you say but i will defend to the death your right to say it"- Voltaire

"By the pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes"- Macbeth

"Great lunch, I mean class, whats for eating??"- Neville GOF

"I mean who wouldn't want a pet that can suck sting and burn at the same time?"- Malfoy GOF

"Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"- Bush such an idiot

"Oh your just all giddy because your fucker gave you glass"- Haha Me to Joyce about her crystal rose from jared for christmas

"fool me once.. shame on.. shame on you... fool me twice... I can't get fooled again" - George dubya, yes kids he did say that

"I know how hard it is to put food on your family"- *sigh* again the idiot Bush

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live" Dumbledore (i like harry potter can you tell?)

"The world is full of broken people. Splints, casts, miracle drugs, and time can't mend fractured hearts, wounded minds,torn spirits"- Dean Koontz

"The shattering of minds abruptly changed and halted leaving behind nothing but silent screams in its wake..."- Me

"The feeling of deflation, can bring no revalation, in a blackened heart situation"- Me

(national treasure when they are talking about what guards the Declaration of Independance) Ben: "And do you know what the preservation room is used for?"Righly (sp??): "Delicious james and jellies?"

(religious discusion)My sister: "explain how evalution is even posible Joyce, if it was we would see monkeys constantly evolving, are they hiding somewhere? Seriously explain it"
Joyce: "Explain Bush"
My sister: "Damn"

"Nothing is certain but the unforeseen."- An ancient Chinese Philosopher

"Woe is to you who cannot read the signs of the times..."- Saint Luke

"Give peace a chance!"- John Lennon, 1969

"We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount. The world has achieved brilliance without wisdom; power without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants, and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living."-General Omar Bradleyformer chairpersonU.S. Joint chiefs of Staff

"Humanity, as never before, is split into two apparently irreconcilable halves. Psychological rule says that when an inner situation in not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains divided and has not become conscious of his inner contradictions, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposite halves."- Dr. Carl Jung, psychiatrist


"We support free music. Download that shit!" - Mike Shonoda, Linkin Park

"Nostradamus has predicted many things, the rise and fall of Hitler, the attack of 911, and it is also said that he predicted the world would end in 2007, historians have also predicted (before Bush was re-elected) that if he was in fact re-elected that two years after his second term there would be an event not unlike The Great Depression, which would be… 2007. I think the world is ending"- Me

Well thats all I have for now and I don't feel like giving an update of my life so here it is.

A smile, even if it fades tomorrow will warm my life for the briefest of moments

Hello Cyberland. To say I am happy would be a stretch, even for me the truth is I am just kind of content, I learn more on my own than I do at school. Seriously. The prospect of getting a job and having some of my own money seems pretty cool. I am trying new things and I finally cussed that bitch Natalie out and she really deserved it! Without her around to mock everything I do I don't feel as stupid and worthless, not that I really valued her opinion anyway but nevertheless, a bitch always makes you feel a tad worse and if you guys know Natalie you know she is the worst kind of BITCH! Ugh I hate her. Glad to have that monkey off my back. Moving on. I. Feel. Slightly. Empty. It sucks cow arse. I have no where I HAVE to go and so I don't really know what to do. Im just kind of here. But that doesn't mean I don't have plans because I have many. I might post them later but for now it would be kind of pointless considering no one reads this peace out G's.

*current song* Ozzy Osbourne- Breaking all the Rules

I always notice the "Ipowerblogger" thing or whatever and occasionally one must stop and wonder... why DO I power blogger??

Well I have things to say that I don't really want anyone to see...

so of course this is the perfect place to put it considering the lack of people who read this. Depression is a weird odd confusing and unsettling thing, its something that can rip a man to shreds and destroy them from the inside out but yet... It is not something we should feel ashamed of, it is when we stop feeling that we realize we have become something even worse than depressed... We have either become heartless... Or hollow. Bearing this in mind though one cannot help but curse depression, and or regret, I feel that my leaving school has been a long time coming, but even though I know through my determination Ill end up somewhere.. Even if it is taking my life in front of news cameras while I stand on top of the Eiffel tower, I WILL be noticed.. And remembered if only for the briefest of seconds, even though I KNOW this, I carry shame, I feel as though I should tell my father lol, but what do I really owe HIM? He didn't think of our family when he walked out on me screaming for him at only three, and though I know it would be only too easy to blame him for my abnomality and dysfunctional behavior, I still do, privately and only in the smallest of measurements...

I feel like this will torture me as it has already started, I am 16 and I will not cry about something as stupid so everytime I start to think about the people who I have carried with me since moving to alabama all through my grades, and the many times I thought we were leaving and never seeing some of them again, I blink back my watering eyes I cant cry about something I finalized for myself. Besides weakness is not what I need, you cant breed determination from weakness, and unless I want to die on the newly mopped- by- me floor at some shitty minimum wage job... I need determination.

Have you ever sat for more than three hours thinking about the meaning of life?

did you end up in the end three times more confused than you were before you started?


Have you ever let your façade slip only to realize that all along this person hated the real you?

Have you ever secretly been hurt and agonized over an insult because it is the thing you most hate about yourself?


Have you ever... just sat there all night long staring out because you feel there is really no point in doing anything else?



Have you ever been so depressed that your eyes just sting almost with expectant tears instead of tears that stream?

Do you think you have actually really experienced clinical depression?


Or are you just one of those people?


honestly


and you know when you are....


the ones who almost seem to enjoy pain, thrive on it, pretend to cut themselves and the cut it less than a scratch done for attention and a need to be depressed? Someone who considers it a fun little game and would almost fall over with realization knocking them like a fatal blow if they really knew...


you sicken me


and you know who you are

I will be off now... im not even going to give a flying fuck if you comment... take it or leave it assholes.

-Insert witty blog title here-

I love going to the movies, the escape of it is fascinating, I really love it, Ive been blessed to go two nights in a row ha, I saw National Treasure again, that is the greatest movie, if you havent seen it, go out and see it dammit! It is so super amazing, I saw a series of unfortunate events, which was... mm ok. I dont really like seing movies that are made from books when I havent read the books. I didnt really like it. The BAD thing about movies is, when you come home it ends. The escape is gone, and to be aloud into the little world of imagination again you have to come up with 7 bucks, which i rarely have. Coming home the next day I awoke to sounds of screaming from my sister, no deep story there, she denied alot of what she did of course, said she was going to stay in her apt then left like 30 min later, haha stupid whore never would stay back there alone. Anywho we were in kind of a mood after that so we left and went out for a while, we went to books-a-million, the coolest guys hang out up there man, i was going to get a book but i didnt have time to look with bub acting AWFUL but my sister did get the first two HP books yay shes starting the series!! and that means I get to re-read them before the sixth comes out which I really really wanted to *shrikes with delight* speaking of Harry Potter I got the coolest tie, heres a link http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=290553 it rocks does it not?? i love it. I just ordered it last night. See how much I help you people? And does anyone read this comment or appreciate it?? no. No one loves me *runs away screaming* bye all

*current song* Moonlight-movement 1

funny how time goes when your not having fun

well i didnt go to school today, i just ugh dont like going, in the slightest, so i didnt. My sister Jessica found out my baby nephew seth has asthema (sp??) today so now we cant as we normally do smoke in the other room, we have to smoke out of doors, goodie *sarcasm*. And it happens to be raining today so in a few Im going to go out in the cold rain to smoke a cigarette. Ugh. Im so excited about the HP6 release party. Hoo-raw! Im not sure if im going to get an actual cloak or just wear this HP shirt Im about to buy from Hot Topic. theres a HP tie too.. i really want it. Im like obsessed with harry potter, the only other person I know who mirrors my obsession is my friend Joyce. No one else I know even remotely understands where Im coming from. Im so fucking syked about the release, July 16th people no one forget! man I really dont want to go in the rain to smoke.. drat. :( but I will partly out of boredom I gotta blow dry my hair too. I just painted my nails.. im really bored lol. Im still stressed about my sister and the fact we will almost definetly move for the like 59th time. We move ALOT Im really uber sick of it. Ugh theres nothing to do, ive been reading random theories and shit on numerous harry potter web sites for like 2 hours now and most of them Ive already read... so I guess Ill go now, LEAVE COMMENTS IM LONELY :( lol-

love hate, and all that shit

*current song* HedwigsTheme (harry potter theme from the movies, I downloaded it not long ago, man it rocks)

Good news, and bad bad bad news

Good news: I got online and took the GED practice test and did surprisingly well, except on math, but i really think I could pass it! more good my moms check came today yay, when she gets her school check its back to memphis and OMG you should see the peabody, which we're staying in this time, its got a movie theater and a hot topic, well a mall but theyve got hottopic, i think its 24 hours too, and theres a "torrid" which is a plus size gothic store (or its called you know) its a cool place, plus I get some new clothes, yay

Bad bad bad news: Heather came here with the police yesterday saying we jumped her and tryed to get a warrent for our mother, who is the nicest person and who doesnt deserve that shit, i wish i could stab her, I also found out you have to be dropped out to take the GED, but I can take the pretest, but its disappointing because i dont want to drop and not be able to do it, good news though, Dr cole is GONE he quit, our new teacher is cool too... well im gonna go, not much to say...

Love to all who dont suck *gives finger to those who do*

*current song* Slow Joe Crow- Firewall

The way to release the anger...

This thing is just to get my anger out... lol no one reads it anyway, well I have to get my life in order, and I have to work my ass off no matter what happens, I'm making a severe dedication... I will do something with my life I refuse to die in Alabama a fool like most people who live here.. I absolutely refuse. I guess it's time to get my shit DOWN. First things first, I've gotta face it that... in the end I'm going to leave high school, but I'm not going to do it stupidly and fuck it up.. Im going to do it RIGHT. Most people don't think there's a right way to leave high school... those people are stupid, know nothing about the system, and suck. (No offense) Leaving high school for me is the smart thing to do, its time to grow the hell up and I'm only staying so I can be happy but I'm not doing it the right way and its all in vain. First... I gotta get my GED before I even drop out, BEFORE, which means I have to sign up soon, second.. I have to get a job, some kind of job, any job that pays for now, I'm going to do what Ive seen almost everyone in my family do, Im going to start off low in college and go until I have a masters. My dad did it, he dropped out and he's um got quite a bit of money, not that it helps me in the slightest but it's the facts. My mom is almost a doctor of English, and she dropped out, I can do it. I can I just have to commit myself. Study on my own, make shit happen for ME. I also know all this shit takes time so I know I'm going to be in school for a bit longer while I make the arrangements. The only thing that could seriously fuck me up is if that awful depression comes back, the clinical depression, or if when I go back tomorrow I find out I'm in such shit that I HAVE to drop out now, I'm trying to be optimistic, which has never been easy. I'm going to end this here though, because I want to get some more information offline about what I need to know to pass the GED. Wish me luck....

*Current song* Three days grace- Wake up

Bloody car keys AND thrown red paint cans in the same day? WTF

I had to make another post when Joyce told me what I slept through, Ill give you the short version...

Venice is Satan, and my sister Heather is his minion

Maybe I should give you a tad more to go on...

My sisters boyfriend is the only thing that makes her be the biggest bitch in the entire world (well kind of counting out how she was when we were younger) he makes her whole personality change, hes a dirty smelly prick with a chipped tooth who doesnt shower, she always takes him back no matter what, she'd try to kill all of us (even our mom) over that stupid ugly worthless piece of dog shit. Well she had been away from him for a while now after he stole and pawned (not once but TWICE) my guitar, one of the only nice things I ever got from my father. And I was just making progress with it, well the first time he made up a story about someone puting a gun to his head and telling him to give him something expensive.. anyways my mom asked him to get out of our house (he had asked to stay for a few days which turned into 4 months, god i hate my life) and he took it again... heather "severed ties" with him for a while... she said she was done with him which no one believed for a long time, but she had got a new boyfriend who bathed had a job and was quite cute... my and brandon got along great that was my buddy, well we were all hopeful and it seemed going ok i mean heather really tried to put on a show of hating venice, she even took in calling him dirty and ugly, recently she was doing things though that always signaled her being with him... broke up with brandon... starting stealing the car while everyone was asleep (except me *evil laugh*) being that insufrable bitch that she only is when that satanic asshole is around, so everyone was curious about it, Joyce and Jessica went back to heathers apt in the back of the house and heather and venice hid in the bathroom (all this is information via joyce i was asleep) so aparently joyce was like "whens heather gonna dye my hair I wanna ask her where is she?" and eventually heather came out, freaked on joyce (haha i feel bad but now she FINALLY knows why I hate my sister) and Jessica too, and I guess all hell broke loose, a paint can was thrown at Jessicas head as well as a glass table, (the evidence of which is still outside) all over dirty ugly poor nasty probably has ten STDs venice, ugh, well I suppose my mom ran after venice trying to hit him and he ran away with his hands over his head, and mom shouted "coward!" ha, well I guess heather is gone with him somewhere, who knows where, she has to come back to her apartment though thats where she LIVES, stupid dumb whore i hope she catches some kind of crippling STD, ugh, so now the whole moving thing is in the air again, not like im not used to it, if we moved anymore dude, my life would be even more of a sad blur. anywho thats todays events check back tomorrow where my blog will probably say "Guess what! I tried to stab Heather and she threw an ashtray at my head!" my life man, what next, I dont understand my siblings this is an all too familiar feeling, at least I know its def been worse....

....for sure....

well love you people who dont suck *gives finger to people who do*

*current song* Schoolyard Heroes- Attack Of The Puppet People

Bloody car keys

Yeah my house is really weird, joyce was supposed to meet jared(ugh *pukes and falls over) at books-a-million today but before she could leave alisha went to the store to buy cigs and is gone for like ever and we live right next door to the gas station, shes taken forever, she comes back with a swollen eye and a ripped shirt covered in mud, yep someone tryed to take alishas purse and alisha beat their ass which is what she said happened and that the girl was a helluva lot bigger than her. Ha my mom said "the girl might have been HIV positive so wash the car keys!" I was like "wtf bloody car keys?" anywho yeah everytime i wake up joyce is asleep so I dont know if she had fun with jared *gag* or not, (with most people I would have to say not but this is joyce and my joyce is.. special) I dont do anything with my sleeping schedule the way it is, which is kind of a good schedule for me for school, which is good I guess since school gonna be here again soon *shutter* well I guess Ill end this now, peace and love to the people who dont suck, to the people who do, ive made it clear to you I think so *gives you finger*

*current song* Smile Empty Soul- With This Knife

HEY HEY HEY! no one reads this...

Holy Fuck its 4am! I hate the way I sleep, :( Clair's here :) but joyce is in a bad ass mood for some reason that is unknown to me, Im guessing jared, but shit I cant believe I woke up at 4am and now everyones going to be asleep soon, alone again, AND THOSE WHORES BORROWED MY RADIO WITHOUT ASKING AGAIN!!Ugh theyre playing rap on it like always, *irritated mood* I dont really have anything to say, I suppose Im gonna go this is boring so its not like anyone reads this anyway bye *current song* A perfect circle- Imagine