"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

Well I'm posting mainly out of boredom, I might post one of my poems at the end of this because I haven't done that in a while. My blog posts tend to be quite boring, maybe I'm so barricaded by depression that my words wont penetrate properly, they only come out in muffled cries so no one really knows what I want to say. Life is becoming quite a downward spiral, into, what else? Nothingness. The only times I am happy in my life is when I see my friends, I might be a bitch you guys but I really do love you all more than you know, some of you, the others who have abandoned me shall remain nameless, have suffered through my temper, my moods, my silence and whatever else I may have put you through on my journey to self discovery, but you're still there, and no matter what I say I really love you so so much. As Erin said "I love you in a way that a guy never would I'd never leave you!" and that’s so true. You guys have stuck it out with me while my heart was lying beaten and broken on the floor, Joyce you've sat with me for hours while I did nothing but cry over some prick that abandoned me and half killed my soul, you guys help nurse my spirit while everything else in the universe tries to wear it down with dull knives and I love you, I would really die without you. This is quite a queer blog post but hey its my blog right? No one really reads it anyways right? So why the hell not these are my true emotions here. I have no room left to ask my friends for anything, and I know that but I do need you guys to understand that I'm going through one of those times again, I don't know if I want to announce it to everyone but you guys knew who's hurt me, you know my story and I didn't expect to hurt this bad guys, I thought I was stronger than this now, I should of known but I turned around and fucked myself again, this was my mistake I'm sorry for my moodiness I'm being so stupid and I am working to overcome it guys. I'm going to go watch a movie with my sister, I love you all.

*current song* three days grace- drown