HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!...not (and pictures)

New years eve is sucking, I could go into why but it would be a complete bore basically just because I have alot of things wrong with me and dont have any money whatsoever to do anything, so here I am at my house, my sisters and my best friend joyce went to get some food (like I need it) anywho, this posting pictures on your blog thing is to complicated to fuck with in my opinion, so I thought Id put up a link to my photo album for people who really care what I look like http://journalhell.com/wtf/album.html?album= so there it is my album on forumhell, I figured it would be convenient cuz it has a bunch of pictures up at once anyways Im gone

*current song* Linkin Park- My December

And so the madness continues leaving nothing but silent screams in its wake

Once again I dissapoint my mother, *sigh* I wish I could please everyone but I cant, and in my sad attempts to I end up making more and more people around me angry. What my mother calls "going out in costume" and "embarrassing her" is just the thing that some people like about me, then again I do nothing to please anyone and I would die if I did. Unfortunatly I please no one. Lauren gave me a stern talking to about wanting to take my life, these days its nothing but a joke and not taken seriously by anyone because its said so much by angsty teens who are upset about not getting a new shirt. I know in all seriousness that my life could be much worse and that its lame and retarded to talk about suicide, but this afternoon I was litterally wanting to with every ounce of everything in me, like one of my poems says "the times when I should find myself lucky to not be in reach of gun" Thats how I felt If I had of had a gun, Im almost positive I wouldnt be here, I dont know how to fix anything anymore, its damaged beyond repair and Its just not going away, I feel like my life is going to be wasted even further, why live? So I can find myself years later working in Burger King wearing a paper hat, would you like an apple pie with that? And dreaming of things Ive wanted to do all my life but not having the money means or drive to make myself do them? Im pathetic dude I cant even get through high school right, at all I already failed once and now im a 16 year old freshman whos guarenteed a spot in 9th again next year plus im in this shitload of trouble for missing so much, oh and one of my teeth is so messed up its gonna turn into a brain absess and I dont have the money to fix it. Suicide is looking like a bright rainbow in a black sky. Im pathetic, I dont know why Im writing this anyway no ones going to read it, so Im out, comment or dont peace

Poetry, for no damn good reason, dont know how many Ill post yet..

GRIM REAPER
Wickedness will find you
He’s knocking on your door
In the evil in his gleaming staff
Your names engraved galore
Hear the malicious cackle
The screech of nails on walls
Your prepared shackle
And the souls that took the dire falls
Billowing is his robe a hurricane of black behind him
An omen of your fate
Curse you blasted grim
Do not take me in this state
Draped hands grab toward your throat
And you know these are your last moments
Nothing to leave behind, no testimony or books you wrote
Nothing but the enclosure of this barb wire fence
May your epitaph read “he found me in my sleep”
We’ll all come to see you one late time
But from you we will not get a peep
The dagger twists deeper, our hearts in bind
Death takes many forms
One of them is rage
See the humans turn to storms
They’re sick of being sage


NO TITLE FOR THIS ONE LOL

My feet pound the hardened earth I’m running from the terror and anguish stretches across my face under the night sky of secretive death, the trees above my head are ablaze with fierce ferocity, my feet are under such pain from the speed at which I execute my escape that I fear I’ll never reach a safe haven, I feel unprotected and watched by seething rage of disappointed faces, rain floods from the lying sky, the abrupt change stops me in my tracks, the elixir pours over my aching body, the hell fire around me goes out, the angels must be crying.

Dont know why I picked these two, Ill post more later, I have about a million on my computer, I randomly chose these two in fact I have more that I like better ill post them at some point im sure

Ahh I fucked up my user name and a bunch of other stuff so I had to make a whole effing new blog

I would really love to re-write everything from my first one I just fucking did three seconds ago but I had to delete it ARGH!!! The little man in my head Alien fred told me to make a blog basically, I deleted my last blog because I didnt want so much erm proof online no I tried to make a new one fucked that up so here it is, 1 and a half hours til my stupid dentist appointment and the day before new years eve and YAY no plans, im such a loser, hold up alien fred is saying something (he hates to be called anything but alien fred ask him not me) ahh he says Im a dumb shit who should of been smarter while creating my blog, oh and I should walk around and egg children should I happen to come across them on new years eve, well my life sucks basically, Im about to have to leave school and have a horrible life where I eventually live in a ditch with a bunch of cats and die there just like poe, (well exept he didnt die with a bunch of cats like I will) I thought it would be cool to have this so I could post some of my poems, which I will soon, also I know no one will read this except pathetic bored people like me and even they will only read it because i say "hey i made a blog read it or i will strangle you with a telephone wire!" anywho Id love to let you enjoy my charm more but Im on my merry way having to remake this thing has pissed me off....