A poem...

I rock backwards and forwards on the cliff of self pity
The entrance to hells city
A bark of untamed relentlessness
A unwarned soul to yet again possess
A shell of a former being
Dragged through a hail storm without really seeing
An unopened gate
An unchangeable fate
A ringing a stirring a stop and a go
A blocked canal, a stop sign, a river without flow
Your shriek your smile your continual denial
I’ve hit my head I can’t remember
When I touched you did you falter, cry or tremble
Its holding me, swinging me until I vomit
You’re the unsupportable habit I can’t quit

Return, just leave, fight, give in
Hug me, hit me, lose, win
My heart a zombie, my head a wreck
You broke my heart, I wanna break your neck
I hate you, I love you, stop it, continue
He’s nice, you’re my idol, I want him, but I’m infatuated with you
Chained wrists, picture of blood
Leaking eyes, causing a flood
Movie screen in my head shows you from my wake to my rest
You try me and try me but you wont keep me, I must be failing the test
My minds eye is 20/20 it shows clearly let go
My spirit is blind, broken, and you’re all it’ll show
Radio signals race through my brain, playing your voice
I gave you options but you stole my choice
I reek of desperation
My hopes need inflation
It’s like lying on brimstone and praying for rain
It’s like having a garden you can’t maintain
It’s like a knife in the front, but two in the back
Wanting you to have all the qualities you lack